brit abroad

Depressing thoughts on Brexit

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Depressing thoughts on Brexit

This morning I woke up feeling sad, disappointed, embarrassed, and with a very bad taste in my mouth. And it wasn't because I had one too many cañas last night without having enough tea (but that certainly didn't help matters). I opened up Facebook to see a message from a fellow immigrant asking me, "Are we Spanish now?" and my heart sank. Every sane person's fears had been realised. Brexit. Secession from the European Union. Streams and streams of statistics and depressed, angry and upset statuses filled my timeline, alongside 1 (one) celebratory statement from someone who quickly got deleted … [Read more...]

Fuck being your playground

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Fuck being your playground

A couple of weeks ago, a short news item caught my attention. A Benidorm-bound British stag do was expelled from a Ryanair flight Manchester-Alacant after the stag do members, British nationals of course, made one of the flight attendants cry. The stag do’s version: "We had a bite to eat and a beer and got on the plane. No one was drunk, we weren’t wearing stag t-shirts or being loud or offensive. We took our seats and were talking in groups as you do". Translation: "We were drunk as fuck at 5pm on a Thursday afternoon, got on a flight, bellowed across the aisles and threw around some … [Read more...]

The Benidorm Syndrome

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The Benidorm Syndrome

A quick jaunt around Benidorm's main stretch confirms the worst: despite the 2 hour plane journey, you've somehow landed in a bizarre alternate dimension of the UK - and the only difference here is that you're burning to a crisp under the Spanish sunshine. Neon signs and Union Jack bunting guide you through the "English quarter", an area just a few minutes' walk from the main Levante beach. Bars pride themselves on having imported top-notch British drinks, such as Carling and Bulmers, while others classily boast that their €3 fry ups offer "REAL bacon - None of that Spanish shite". Welcome to … [Read more...]