I come from Scotland. The land of the free and the home of the brave… or something like that. The country that brought us television, the telephone, and Trainspotting; The land whose national diet screams “YOLO” and whose dialect uses the word “fucking” the same way that most people use a comma. This is, arguably, the most important year in Scottish history for hundreds of years – it’s the year we’ll decide whether to divorce our overbearing husband to the South, or to remain in a loveless marriage for the rest of our days.
Let’s be clear from the offset: this has nothing to do with disliking the English. Sure, we get a bit annoyed when they call us ‘Scotch’. And it’s really annoying when little boys in London ask us if we have electricity (“we came up with the theory of electromagnetism, son. What do you think?”). If I had my way London would be independent and the rest of the UK would live in harmony together, drinking tea and talking about the weather. David Bowie even jumped on the bandwagon last week when he used his Grammy win to beg (through the fashion world’s very own Dalai Lama, Kate Moss): “Scotland, stay with us!” Sorry, Dave, but you said it yourself: Rule Britannia is out of bounds.
Without further ado, here are my reasons for voting ‘Yes’ to Scottish independence this September:
1. I like being European
Contrary to what Sr Rajoy seems to think, this wouldn’t stop if we were independent. Scotland is an active member of the European Union community and we’re not a member of the Euro-zone anyway. Our Human Rights Commission is Chair of the entire Council of Europe zone. Never mind us getting a knock-back at Europe’s front door – we’re on Guestlist! Old Plasticine-Face Cameron has said that the UK will vote to leave the EU in 2017 anyway, so why I would I hang around for that? Better Together…but without the rest of Europe? I don’t think so.
2. We’re different
And I don’t just mean that some of us get a tan and some of us don’t. Scotland and the UK are inherently different entities. Scotland veers Left; the UK is Conservative. Scotland believes that higher education is a right, whereas the UK seems to consider it a privilege. Scotland provides its citizens with free prescriptions while the UK resources are ensuring that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Scotland has a world-class renewable energy industry and rich natural resources (I’m not going to mention the ‘o’ word, but you see where I’m going with this); the UK…well, they use them. Not to mention the fact that the nuclear submarines and Trident missiles that the UK has lovingly planted on Scottish soil really don’t go with our lochs and rolling hills.
3. I’d like my vote to count for something. Anything!
If democracy means having the right to a vote then I feel pretty hard-done-by. In the 2010 general election, only one Scottish region had a majority Conservative vote (the region that borders England, incidentally), yet we have a Conservative government. How is that democratic representation? I resent that fact that all of my political decisions are made for me by the most self-important city in the world. I find it very hard to relate to a State that wants to scrap the Human Rights Act while perpetuating the caste system. Forgive me if seeing photos of the Windsors on holiday in Mustique while half of my degree-educated friends are struggling to find a job doesn’t make me feel very “British”.
4. Because nothing ventured, nothing gained
A lot lost, in fact. We’ve all seen the figures: Scotland gets less from the UK than it puts in. Yet still we are accused of being a drain on resources; an unwelcome member state (Catalunya, we hear you, sister!). We can’t keep the Pound? Good! Maybe I’ll be able to buy a sandwich south of the border without being told, “I don’t think we accept this.” When has any nation ever turned down the chance to be independent? They haven’t. And why would they? Why would any state turn down the chance to have complete control of its own affairs and to overturn a government that they didn’t vote for? When did self-determination become a dirty word?
You don’t need to “give” us our independence. If the people of Scotland have any sense, they’ll take it. Are you with me, Pais Vasco?!
Hasta la vista, babies…
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