It’s that time of year again. The all singing, all dancing campfest that is the Eurovision Song Contest is already doused in glitter and shimmying its way towards a television set near you.
Judgement day is Saturday 23rd May at 9pm CEST and contestants from 26 European countries and nations will compete for the highly acclaimed title of Eurovision Song Contest champion.
Many Brits are not ashamed to admit that they only watch the Contest because of the commentary. Camp-as-you-like Graham Norton has been our host since 2009, adding risqué comments and critiquing the contestants without being scared to downright insult people. His predecessor was the mighty Terry Wogan who’d often just chuckle in the faces of would-be legitimate competitors.
Years of «I’ll vote for you if you vote for me» and a general sense of typically British, self-deprecating humour means that, for the most part, Eurovision is just one big joke for us Brits. We never win because we’re a bloody island and all the other countries vote for their neighbours or whoever has been particularly nice to them recently. Maybe we’ll get an extra vote in when Scotland tear away, aye?
Anyway, the purpose of this article is to relish in what we all love most about Eurovision – the nutters. Behold! The 5 strangest acts to grace the golden stage:
1) Verka Serduckha – Ukraine – 2007
Trance with a distinct Eastern European twist sung by a silver maniac with alarmingly rigid dance moves. My all time favourite entry.
Teen Wolf and dildo head meet screamo.
Steps: Where Are They Now?
We can’t do a round-up of Eurovision nutters without mentioning these hardrocking Nordic beasts. I’m particularly transfixed by the keyboard player. And, bizarrely, they won?
«It certainly is on the experimental side…. four brides of Frankenstein and a loony with a clothes line», warns Wogan.
And hey, expats, if you find a link to watch the programme with British commentary, help a sister out, will ya?
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