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Depressing thoughts on Brexit

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Depressing thoughts on Brexit

This morning I woke up feeling sad, disappointed, embarrassed, and with a very bad taste in my mouth. And it wasn't because I had one too many cañas last night without having enough tea (but that certainly didn't help matters). I opened up Facebook to see a message from a fellow immigrant asking me, "Are we Spanish now?" and my heart sank. Every sane person's fears had been realised. Brexit. Secession from the European Union. Streams and streams of statistics and depressed, angry and upset statuses filled my timeline, alongside 1 (one) celebratory statement from someone who quickly got deleted … [Read more...]

Festival de les Arts: en valencià no parlem, però doneu-nos els vostres diners

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Festival de les Arts: en valencià no parlem, però doneu-nos els vostres diners

El Festival de les Arts és un festival urbà que se celebra a València al juny. Al contrari que els festivals tradicionals, on els assistents van d’acampada, té lloc al recinte de la Ciutat de les Arts i les Ciències de València. És la resposta valenciana al SOS 4.8, festival murcià indie que començà menut i ha acabat per convertir-se en una de les cites ineludibles del panorama musical independent de l’estat, o al Primavera Sound, el festival que ara com ara més prestigi té a Espanya (després del FIB). Està controlat per una empresa que pertany als germans David i Antonio Sánchez, madrilenys, … [Read more...]

En defensa de la cocina británica

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En defensa de la cocina británica

Ah, la comida británica. Un tema a que la gente le gusta poner a parir con regularidad. ¿Y quiénes son los acusados de echar las broncas? Pues, suelen ser los... chan, chan... españoles. Voy a empezar este post con un par de preguntas: ¿Por qué tenéis tanta manía a la cocina británica? ¿Es que habéis oído tanta gente quejarse del tema que creéis que es algo guay? ¿Cuántos platos británicos típicos has probado en tu vida? ¿O solo es que habéis probado un fish and chips de un pequeño, sucio chippy londinense rodeado por turistas? (Algo que se podría comparar con comer una paella en … [Read more...]

El plagio y cómo no hacerlo

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El plagio y cómo no hacerlo

Por pequeña y poco importante que sea esta historia, nunca está de más señalar a quienes plagian (roban) el trabajo de otras personas en beneficio propio. Estimado Daniel, El plagio, ¿a que es genial? Es tan fácil ver algo que te guste, copiar, pegar, y recoger los frutos del trabajo de otra persona. Creerse guay por haber “escrito” un post tan popular. Fingiendo ser el autor de un post y respondiendo a los comentarios como si tuvieras puta idea. Y es más, ¿por qué quedarse satisfecho con copiar un solo post? Has copiado y pegado párrafos enteros de nuestro post Running: pasatiempo … [Read more...]

Fuck being your playground

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Fuck being your playground

A couple of weeks ago, a short news item caught my attention. A Benidorm-bound British stag do was expelled from a Ryanair flight Manchester-Alacant after the stag do members, British nationals of course, made one of the flight attendants cry. The stag do’s version: "We had a bite to eat and a beer and got on the plane. No one was drunk, we weren’t wearing stag t-shirts or being loud or offensive. We took our seats and were talking in groups as you do". Translation: "We were drunk as fuck at 5pm on a Thursday afternoon, got on a flight, bellowed across the aisles and threw around some … [Read more...]

My #nofilter Hatred for Facebook

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My #nofilter Hatred for Facebook

My relationship with my Facebook account has come to resemble an unhappy marriage. It all started off so well: everything was fresh and new, there were always new features to discover, we were poking each other three times a day. Gradually, however, things began to get a little stale; a bit...samey. Cool, you had a really healthy salad for your lunch – looks great. Oh, you ran 5 miles before I even got out of bed and have the abs to prove it – good for you. Wow, are you and your boyfriend the most loved-up couple in the world? I think you just might be! I had been in denial about our … [Read more...]

Tales of Línea 1

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Tales of Línea 1

You may have heard some disconcerting stories about the Valencian underground: delays, reduced services, untoward methods against heavy rain featuring conspicuously placed buckets... The truth of the matter is that metrovalencia leaves a lot to be desired when compared to its sister system in Madrid and paints even less of a pretty picture in comparison to the ever-efficient London tube. In Valencia you often find yourself stood waiting, desperately staring up at the boards, with the only things making an appearance being more and more people piling into the station while the "expected … [Read more...]

I don’t care about El País’ Catalan Edition

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I don’t care about El País’ Catalan Edition

I don’t, I just don’t. All odds were on me lapping it up. If El País had a target-reader production machine, it would churn me out first. I am a highly educated Catalan speaker, I score left on any political compass, I am invested in things like books and alternative music and films (sorry for the pretentious label), socially mobile, I speak English, and I live abroad. But I don’t. Actually, it’s not that I don’t care, it’s that it really pisses me off. El País was founded in 1978. That’s 36 years ago. That’s 36 years El País has had to create an edition in Catalan. But they didn’t. We did … [Read more...]

Spanish #marketing: #inventing #palabring

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Spanish #marketing: #inventing #palabring

Something awful is happening in the world of Spanish marketing. Everyone is turning Spanglish, lazy and hashtag happy. I get it, English is important. Opportunities within the current lacklustre Spanish job market are greatly improved if you have a decent level of English. Because of this Spain is experiencing a boom in language learning, with academies full to the rafters and demand to learn English at an all time high. And, don't get me wrong, that's great. But it's paving the way for lazy marketing - branding teams and Facebook and Twitter accounts cling onto this and try to make a quick … [Read more...]

La puta mierda de anuncio de Mahou

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loquillo oprimido

El último anuncio de Mahou es la definición más perfecta que se podría encontrar sobre la gilipollez, la pretenciosidad y el esnobismo, rebozado además en pringosa chulería madrileña. Me imagino a los creativos de la agencia de publicidad buscando figuras con tirón popular y gancho para espectadores desde los 14 a los 65 años. - Sí tía, ponemos a Leiva que es súper guapo y súper rockero - Y a Iker, que es el mejor. Y pon a uno del Atleti de paso. - Y a un actor andaluz que sea gracioso. ¡NO! ¡A DOS! - ¿Puede ser un futbolista andaluz del Madrid? Eso sería súper perfecto. - … [Read more...]

El dret a Gaudí(r)

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El dret a Gaudí(r)

Park Güell, Gaudí's fairytale playground, pays as much homage to modernist art and architecture as it does to Catalan identity. But nowadays it all comes at a price... Built between 1900 and 1914 and inaugurated as a public park in 1926, the quirky wonderland has, for nearly a century now, been lending itself to those searching for a bit of peace and quiet amidst Barcelona's intense mix of city centre high rises and traffic jams. What was once a tranquil haven set aside from the hustle and bustle of the Catalonian capital, Park Güell is now surrounded by fences, guards, workers and … [Read more...]

2 hipster 4 U

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2 hipster 4 U

Before we begin - Just what is a hipster? Allow me to explain courtesy of an ever-precise Wikipedia extract and revered song "I love my life as a dickhead": Hipster (contemporary subculture): “Hipster is a term popularly used to denote a contemporary subculture in North America, Australia and Europe primarily consisting of Millennials living in urban areas. The subculture has been described as a "mutating, trans-Atlantic melting pot of styles, tastes and behavior[s]" and is broadly associated with indie and alternative music, a varied non-mainstream fashion sensibility … [Read more...]

Tinder vs The Lad: a match made in Hell

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Tinder vs The Lad: a match made in Hell

I, like many unsuspecting members, was tricked into getting Tinder. My friend sold it to me under the premise that it was a game. In fact, its misleading use of language such as “keep playing” had me thinking that these were fictional characters up until the point where Andy, 24, from Glasgow popped up on my screen to say, “Like the headdress lol r u a red Indian haha.” It was love at first casual racist remark. So, Andy didn’t make the cut, but it was scary how quickly my index finger became accustomed to the left swipe. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept: Tinder is an app that … [Read more...]

Anuncios por los que boicotear a una marca

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Verdasco huele mal

La publicidad, a veces, es bonita. Puede ser original, curiosa, divertida, en ocasiones hasta brillante. Sin embargo, la mayoría es bastante pobre, cutre y embrutecedora. Entiendo que no es fácil supeditarse a las instrucciones del cliente, y que qui paga, mana. Pero hay una publicidad que trasciende todos los límites del sentido común, que va más allá de las puertas de Tannhäuser del asco. Anuncios que provocan que quieras agarrar un taladro y perforar la sien del creativo que dijo la palabra mágica, del directivo que aprobó el proyecto y del cliente que celebró la ocurrencia. Anuncios que te … [Read more...]

Not-so-Easy Jetting

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Not-so-Easy Jetting

As a British expat in Spain, I’m no stranger to flying. As cunty as it sounds, “I travel”. But this has only led me to notice various strange things which seem to happen every time I fly, and I'm sure you have too. These things include: • The Battle Royale-esque scenes that take place prior to boarding • The smug attitudes of Speedy Boarders • The surprisingly high probability that I will get sat next to a nutter The date: 23rd December 2013 The time: 11:05am The scene of the hate: Alicante airport Morale was high in Alicante that day and there was a definite festive spring in … [Read more...]